Rattling On...

Murder on the dance floor...

 

I went out on Friday night. Works do. I had such an unenjoyable time that I'm resolved to become a recluse. It wasn't any one thing in particular, more a conglomeration.

The DJ had put paper and pencils on the tables so everyone could request music, a great idea you'd think, as then the people who requested a track would then at least be dancing. Wrong. Even the DJ became frustrated and at one point came on the mike to announce that he'd been 'pestered' all night to play something in particular and still no-one bothered.

The only thing that seemed to separate people's backsides from their chairs was Motown. I am one of those people who feels obliged to dance to tracks I hate if someone asks me, it's a solidarity thing. Doesn't seem to bother most people though.

Anyway, the clincher of the evening was when the colleague, the one I wanted to punch a bit ago, came over to my friend and I at our table and said to me 'How much have you had to drink? We've been watching you, you must have hollow legs.'

Two things: i) I was on my second drink and had three over the course of a four hour event. ii) She looked like something the cat had dragged in, wild-eyed, leery and tragically flashing too much flesh for a woman of her age. See, I can do bitchy.

Actually, three things: iii) Who the hell are the 'we' that were watching me?

So I'm not going out with them again. Despite the fact I'm supposed to be doing just that on Wednesday. Slightly different set of people, moderately similar reason for going out. Someone leaving. Big Do and then Little Do for invited only. I'm uninviting myself. I feel better for getting that off my chest.

Scones today as the parents announced at 9am they were coming over. But, I said to my Dad, it's only 9am. Rubbish, says he, it's 11am. Not sure what they did to the clocks at their gaff. We split the difference and went for a ten o'clocker. Just time to whip up a batch of Nigella's finest which, most strangely, were a game of two halves. The first lot I put in came out fine but a little flat. The second lot, same dough batch, rose beautifully.

My Mother told me a funny they'd overheard yesterday at a flea market. Stallholder said to Lady Browser 'Is that the sun or the moon that I can see in the sky (early morning, bit overcast still).' 'I don't know' she replied 'I'm not from round here.'

This week's baking...

I'm almost ashamed to call myself a Domestic Goddess at the moment, having done no baking for one whole week. I know, shocking. And yet the world didn't stop turning and we survived.

This week I've made up for it by producing two efforts, the first being a banana loaf, which has only one drawback as far as I can see, and that's that it smells of bananas. A no-brainer you may say, but I don't like the smell. I can manage to force it down though...

The recipe is roughly Nigella's from the book she named after me. I didn't put rum in as I don't want any sly looks and gossip at work as I breathe fumes over the pupils.

Second up is rocky road, which strictly speaking doesn't involve baking. Though pans and heat are involved, so let's not be pedants.

This has everything but the kitchen sink in it: digestives, marshmallows, almonds, brazil nuts and chocolate of course. I'm sure it'll be sickly as hell but will disappear all the same.

I have been perusing my books lately and fancy some grown-up baking, this will have to be in half-term I think. Maybe I'll even get round to that Battenburg...

This week's biscuits...

They're not biscuits at all... though I did make chocolate chip cookies as well. I'm sure you've seen enough pictures of them.

This week we had mini pavlovas from Nigella's recipe, topped with fresh cream and raspberries. A nice summery pudding on a day when there were intermittent 'showers'. For that read: occasional torrential rain with brief respites of really quite warm sunshine.

They were a doddle to make, but removing them from the baking parchment was hazardous. There were some minor casualties, but I think the cosmetic damage added to the general homemade charm.

Once again I'm convinced Nigella's idea of small isn't the same as mine. She suggested the full mixture would make 16, so I made half and still got ten really substantial meringues. I wouldn't have wanted them any larger, and she described them as bigger than you could eat with one mouthful. Too right.  Unless you're aiming at one of those world records that involves extreme gluttony.

Did you really want to see the cookies? Oh go on, then...

Completely without added value...

 

Back to basics with a quick delve into my trusty Be-Ro recipe book. I've written about it before so won't bore you again, only to say how great it is.

These are the Ginger Snaps, and were ridiculously easy to knock up. I made the decision some weeks ago to stop buying manufactured biccies, and make my own. Thus avoiding VAT, and having fun. So far it's been successful and I hope the overall consumption has decreased, however what gets eaten out of the house is out of my control!

 I used my stand mixer for these, having realised that on the whole one may ignore most of the instructions for baking. In the end it's all going in the bowl and being whizzed up. so I just put it all in. They look exactly like the picture, and that's surely a good enough indicator.

While the mixer was out I took the opportunity to make a Victoria sponge using the same all-in method (which Nigella is a proponent of and thus it must be the correct way...no?) which takes about two minutes plus cooking time.

As my Dad would say, and does on every appropriate occasion (and on some inappropriate ones) 'What's wrong with that?'

Ok, if we're going to be picky, I may have slightly over-killed on the cream... 

Toothache in a tin...

This is what Nigella calls Hokey Pokey. For some reason I took an immediate and irrational dislike to that particular name, and much prefer Honeycomb. 

I have these whimsies, they usually manifest as strong repulsions to grammatical or spelling errors (at the moment it's the use of 'infact' that's driving me mad). Working in a school means I spend a disproportionate amount of time in distress. As I say, irrational...

The recipe is from Nigella Express and is about as simple as it gets in the kitchen, which was the idea really as I was trying out ideas for things to make as stocking fillers.

This went down a storm with the girls, who are prone to a sweet tooth. I think if I made it again I would emulate a popular commercial sweet-bar and dip it in chocolate, or at least half dip it. Not that anyone would need the extra sugar hit, but it would give it a bit more gravitas as a present.

When contemplating the calorific nightmare it must be I was reminded of a school friend. She had two famous quotes, 'Chocolate... it's brown so it must be good for you' and 'Meringues... they weigh nothing so they can't have any calories'.

This is very light...

The N word.

I'm afraid I  have to use the N word for a second time this week. 

Do you ever find yourself stuck for what to make at tea time? (It's tea time on school nights, dinner time at the weekends.) I try to plan ahead but sometimes it doesn't pan out, occasionally one of the girls will have had something for lunch that I had in mind.

Finding myself in just such a quandary the other night I lighted upon a dish I'd seen on Nigella's new TV show. The crustless pizza. That's the dish- the show is Nigella's Kitchen. The recipe wasn't on-line, they want you to buy the book, but fortunately the watch again option was available for the Hurry Up I'm Hungry episode (and is for the next 3 months for UK viewers).

For those who want to know and can't/ can't be bothered to watch here's the recipe:

250mls milk, an egg, 100g flour, pinch of salt, 50g cheese. Extra cheese for top and toppings: I used cherry tomatoes and pepperoni (Hungarian, delicious)

Make a batter with the first set of ingredients and cook in a hottish oven until almost done. Remove and add the extra cheese and whatever toppings you fancy. Back in the oven until done. About 25 minutes altogether for mine, which I made in an unglazed stoneware dish with only a very light oiling. I love my stoneware, it's going really dark brown now and is virtually non stick. Highly recommended.

It was good. Not really a pizza of course, but good. Very quick to make as well using things that are always in store. The toppings, of course, could be just about anything. 

Why don't my buns look like Nigella's?

Answers on a postcard, please.

I bought a vintage madeleine tin some time ago. A very nice one, but can I find it? I cannot. 

So, I had to buy a new one and, amazingly, a local shop had a nice non-stick one in. It didn't look quite the same as my vintage one, which had a lot of hollows in it, this one has twelve. Important fact I believe.

Reaching for Nigella's Domestic Goddess tome I found her recipe and, omitting the rosewater (fresh out of it, I'm afraid) I got stuck in.

I was very good and did all the things she said to do. It was when I came to the bit that said a recipe containing 40g of flour should make 48 madeleines, and a teaspoon sized blob should fill the hollow, that I decided to go off piste.

The mixture, half filling the hollows, gave 14 paltry excuses for buns. I'm ashamed to say that while contemplating the disaster I made a cup of tea and ate them all. Yes, all. They added up to the size of an average muffin I'd say, so not a massive guilt trip.

Never daunted I started again. This time, ingeniously, doubling the quantities.

Much more like what the doctor ordered, though golden brown, unlike Nigella's which are very pale and interesting in the book photo. Ah well, you can't have everything. This time there were twenty. Still nowhere near the 48 Nige squeezed out of the mixture, though by now I think she was using a doll's house patty tin, or it was a typo.

Unable to stomach another (probably for a good few years) No2 obligingly did the taste test and pronounced them 'very good'.

When typing the title I was reminded of dear old Fanny Cradock, the doughty doyenne of British TV cookery, and a possibly apocryphal tale...

Fanny, assisted by good old Johnnie, was pontificating on the making of doughnuts. At the end of the show Johnnie, in his final round up to camera said 'I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's.'

Happy accident.

Gluten free banana bread. It wasn't meant to be gluten free, but I inadvertantly picked up the wrong bag of flour and it wasn't until I was sliding it into the oven that I realised my mistake. As GF flour isn't generally easy to substitute in a recipe given for usual flour, I just had to wait until it came out. It was fine, more than fine in fact.

I used the Nigella Lawson loaf as the basis for mine, but as usual tweaked it right, left and centre. So, really it's not the same product at all. The girls were both impressed, and said it smelled particularly nice when it was cooking.

So my recipe is as follows:

• 175g Doves Farm Gluten Free self raising flour
• 2tsp baking powder
• 125g butter ( I actually used Bertolli olive oil spread)
• 150g sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 4 small very ripe bananas, mashed
• 50g chopped walnuts
• 150g sliced glace cherries (mine were the natural coloured kind, an unopened tub from Christmas that needed using up)

Beat sugar and fat together, beat in eggs, add mashed banana and combine. Fold in the flour and baking powder, you can sieve them in if you want- I didn't bother. Lastly add the cherries and nuts. Into a lined loaf tin ( mine measured 4.5''W, 8.5''L, 2.5''D) and then a 170/gas mark 3 oven for 1-1.25 hours.
Nigella's recipe faffs around with unsalted butter and then adds a half a teaspoon of salt...where's the sense in that? And there's a lot of soaking and melting. I can't be doing with all that, sometimes you just want a recipe to use up dodgy bananas and things form the cupboard.What I really hate is to pull out a cookery book, choose a recipe and find I have to make a special shopping trip for half the ingredients. Or maybe I'm just dull in the store-cupboard stakes. I reckon lots of different combinations of fruit and nuts would work in this, depending what you have in and like to eat in a cake. I usually have sultanas, almonds and such in stock for baking anyway.

I can't believe how quickly the weekend seemed to go. It's not that any of it was wasted, it just disapeared and now it's back to work again...

I blame the parents...

Yesterday I decided to make some more of the scones I made a few weeks ago. This time, though, I'd bought some cream of tartar.

I bought it on Friday, and when I got home the girls helped me to put away the shopping. I became convinced that I'd left the tub in the trolley or at the checkout (this has happened to me before) as I couldn't find it anywhere.

On my travels I did find the missing coffee pot . The one I've bought a replacement for. It was in a very logical place, next to the coffee grinder, just difficult to spot.

I checked everywhere they, or I may have put it. I have a pantry cupboard and a large drawer where all things baking are kept. No. Cellar with tins and bottles. No.

Finally I did what I should have done in the first place. I shouted upstairs, interrupting the choc fest, to ask who'd had it and where they'd put it.

The answer, when it came, was a surprise. No1 daughter will be 18 in a couple of weeks. She took a  GCSE in Food Technology. Ok, she took it in a year as a bit of a filler, but take it she did. There was actual cookery involved as well.

The cream of tartar was, obviously, in the fridge 'As it contains cream'. What can I say?

And 'Does it make any difference?', I hear you cry. As a matter of fact I think it does. The lightness of the cakery was commented upon more than once.

I made them triangular this time. Just because. I got 20 from the amount, Nigella said there'd be 12. She must like one doorstop of a scone...

Truly scrumptious...

Another gluten-free recipe today. I bought some polenta a while ago and hadn't done anything with it. I knew it could be used to make cakes so decided to look on-line for ideas. I ended up on Nigella's site and plumped for this Lemon and Almond Polenta Cake.

Time to get out the lemon squeezer again and my Grandma's old loose-bottomed tin. I love the old tins, they're so sturdy and have a lovely patina. This one must be fifty years old. I did as I was told (for once) and lined the bottom, which turned out to be a good idea... I'd also bear in mind this one isn't for the bowl-lickers out there. The uncooked mixture is very odd.

Here is is fresh out of the oven with the knife pricks in the top, soaking up the syrupy topping. Nigella suggests making the necessary holes with a skewer, but I don't own one, and couldn't be bothered to look for a cocktail stick.

I left it in the tin to cool then slid it out still on the base. I've moved it into the cake dome now, but decided to leave the greaseproof paper on the bottom as it's got a lovely crumbly texture, and I was worried the whole thing might fall apart.

I'm pleased to report that this cake is gorgeous and by no means a poor relation to traditional flour based recipes. I'd make it again in a shot and I can't see it lasting very long...

First position...

To the ballet last night to see Sleeping Beauty performed by the Russian State Ballet of Siberia at the Opera House.

I like a bit of ballet, but I love the music just as much, and the orchestra didn't disappoint. We'd had a taster of them earlier in the day as they were busking in town.

The scenery was excellent, with beautifully painted backdrops.

 The whole thing was very theatrical, or as MrH put it there was 'a high level of campery'. The men's shoes were particularly lovely in a modern turquoise shade.

I did have a couple of small issues, though unconnected to the performance. Firstly, the woman sitting next to me had doused herself in perfume to the extent it was suffocating and made me cough. I had to go and buy some Polos.

The other thing...why do people have to fidget so? Eating sweets, talking, removing clothing, taking children to the toilet (six times in one nearby case!). Drives me mad.

But it was a very good night out.

This morning I've been making this...

Nigella's recipe from Domestic Goddess. Only I used some shrivelled lemons that were looking neglected in the fruit bowl.

This is such a quick recipe to make, maybe quarter of an hour all-in. You do have to keep your eye on it and keep whisking, but that's all there is to it.

 

Just a jar full...

The Bell Jar.

Yes, yes it's a cake (lemon madeira). But you're supposed to be looking at what it's sitting in. A Nigella Lawson cake and cheese dome.

This was part of my birthday present from MrH, who has a vested interest in the cake making, in as much as he likes to eat them.

I like the simple design and the cream ceramic base colourway he chose, they also come in pink and black. It's also good and deep, so if you were to make an elaborately iced creation it shouldn't scrape on the top (notice I said you and not I ). I've ruined many a cake by ramming on the tin lid without checking it actually fitted...

I can see it working as a cheese board as well, we do like a bit of cheese and biscuits in lieu of a proper meal occasionally. I like Stilton, MrH is a Cheshire or Wensleydale type. Our crackers of choice at the moment are Fudges' oat crackers, but I'm a fan of Hovis crackers as well...nice bit of relish or redcurrant jelly and Bob's your uncle.

The cat finds it fascinating as well. Overlooking the hygiene aspect of his sitting on the table...he likes to dabble at the dome, trying to get at the cake. Which he would eat given half a chance. Frank will eat just about anything, he's big into cornflakes at the moment. Harry is sticking to the house plants as I mentioned before. But he's become a bit more aggressive in his habits, just nibbling the leaves is no longer enough...

 

Panic baking.

A sudden panic on Sunday, my birthday, after discovering we didn't have one biscuit in the house to offer to visitors, forced me to make a batch of scones.

I love scones warm from the oven, I just don't like making them. It's something to do with the stickiness of the mixture and the way it attaches itself to my hands. I girded my loins, however, and went for it. I used Nigella's recipe from How to be a Domestic Goddess...

The only thing I didn't use was the cream of tartar, because I couldn't find it. I also just cut the dough into squares for speed, and I quite like them like that anyway.

  Served with my home made jam and plenty of cream they went down very well. My Mum also brought round a Victoria sandwich she'd made for the occasion.

It was a great day, I didn't watch a DVD after all as the 6 Nations rugby was on and England were playing. MrH joined me. I knitted and he put up a set of metal shelves for the cellar (yes, in the living room)...very noisy and not at all relaxing. Man stuff.

I did get a cake...

 

...which was so chocolatey that I couldn't manage to eat the covering. It also had marzipan on it! The girls had also put up streamers and balloons, which is what I've always done for them since they were tiny. I had some lovely presents, did some knitting, watched some rugby. A good day.

Don't forget the String-a-Long (see yesterday) and get yourself signed up.

Boxing Day.

I did make the bundt cake on Christmas Eve. It's the one from Nigella's Christmas (see side bar) that's made in the tin shaped like a circle of fir trees.

Last year I watched the Tv series that accompanied the book and loved the look of this cake. Me and everyone else. The tins had sold out everywhere, but I eventually tracked one down on line. Then I received an email saying the stock had been wrong on line and they didn't actually have any, but would courier one out if any became available before Christmas.

The power of television...I really wanted that cake tin. It would be the thing to make Christmas. Well it did arrive, the day before Christmas Eve, couriered without extra cost as promised. I made the cake and loved the effect- it went down a storm, even though my Dad complained it was dry (unless it's smothered in cream anything is dry to him...). This time I served it with brandy cream, guess who had the most?

I see they're sold out again this year.

Another case of the runs.

Despite the disaster a couple of weeks ago, I decided to make another Nigella cake. This time the courgette cake.

 

It's very much along the lines of a carrot cake, but grating the courgettes takes a lot less time.  It rose beautifully and has a lovely texture. In the book Nigella makes a lime curd filling, I only had lemons so lemon I made.

 

This time I followed all the instructions to the letter, I curbed my impulsiveness and let everything cool.

And still the filling was, well, sloppy. You can see from the photo how I've had to scrape off the overflow.

 

For the topping I also had to add a lot more icing sugar than the recipe called for- leading to it being very sweet and less cheesy. And it's runny, when it should be firm enough to make those nice swirls with a fork-you know the look I mean.

In conclusion I've decided it's not me. I wonder how many times Nigella gets these recipes tested? In the book she admits to an error and then says that's the cake in the picture...which means she makes one and has it photographed. I know for a fact Delia Smith road tests hers lots of times and has friends and family make them also before she publishes.

It's good to be an instinctive cook like Nigella, but a book should be more accurate than this. It all tastes delicious, but for me it looks bad, scruffy, like I've thrown it together.

I'm putting How to be a Domestic Goddess to the back of the cupboard for a while and going back to some of my old favourites. Like... How to be an Anally Retentive Goddess Who Likes Tidy Cakes.