Rattling On...

Death by chocolate...

...following slow and excruciating torture, also by chocolate.

I promised one of the boys I work with a chocolate fudge cake, his favourite. He'd better be in the chocolatey groove today!

In other news: as far as I can tell all the blackbird chicks are fine and the parents are refurbing the nest ready for the next brood.

Crow is also fine, poor little man. As two of the fledglings are currently in his laurel tree, he gets nagged until he loeaves each morning. Only returning to roost in the evening. When the adult blackbirds leave him alone. I wish they'd let him be during daylight hours but I suppose it's Nature and they're just protecting their young. At night the truce is odd but a relief from the cacking noise they bombard him with if he tries to come 'home'.

I am pondering Jubilee cake ideas. Chocolate will not feature, I'm sick of the smell of it...

An Elizabeth Sponge cake...

Last week I made an enormous cake for a work colleague's birthday. It was a chocolate sponge with raspberry and cream filling. Much like the one above, but then again different.

I got the cake out at break time and was amazed at how blatantly greedy some people can be. How they cut the biggest slice imagineable and scoff it down without a nod to how it came to be there on the table.

Arriving home the same evening I put the, now empty, cake carrier on the side to be washed. No2 lifted the lid and couldn't hide her disappointment at the emptiness within. She'd thought, quite rightly, that a cake of that size would have yielded at least a miniscule leftover piece.

So, I made a tiny cake for us. The one in the picture. Sometimes I think I should go into business making sponge cakes. It seems to be what I spend a lot of time doing, usually for other people and often for something school-related. There's another cake sale on today and I decided I wouldn't bake for it but I will make a donation. I need a sponge-break.

But not for long as I've had an idea. Always dangerous. All you cake makers/decorators out there- does anyone fancy joining in wth a themed cake-event? Just for fun and details to be finalised... the theme will be something current, something you can't escape this year. The Jubilee... we might as well go with the flow, no? It's not just for Brits, either. It's positively international in its potential. 

If you're up for it please leave a comment and we'll co-ordinate a date to publish our efforts, cunningly timed to co-incide with the big event. And if you don't have a blog but would like to join in then I'll be happy to post your photos right here. What about a Flickr group as well? You know you want to...

Ladies, please...

Time to try out the new book and make something for my tea...

...Croque madame muffins. I made myself two and that was more than enough. I used Parma ham in the middle and had to fight off the cat, he's partial to a bit of quality.

I suppose it was a tiny bit of a faff making a mornay sauce just for one person (I used a good Cheddar cheese), but worth it. These are very nice.

Ms Khoo says in the book that they are called 'Madame' as the egg resembles a lady's hat. Not what the waiter in Orleans told me.

I asked him, in my dodgy French, what made a croque a madame and not a monsieur. He smiled a big smile, made spider shapes with his hands, held them in front of his chest and massaged his pecs...

So, not hats then?

Monkey see, monkey do...

If you think you've see this cake before you wouldn't be wrong. Or at least you have seen a similar, better, one on Andamento's blog. It's there on the sidebar and I have admired it for a long time.

As it was No2's birthday yesterday I decided to shamelessly copy it. Such a lovely decoration idea. I went for a three layer jobbie with mucho chocco. One slice and it was Goodnight, Vienna. The girls loved it.

Very annoyed with Amazon, or maybe the Post Office, as half the presents still haven't arrived despite being scheduled for Saturday delivery. As there isn't a bookshop or anywhere that sells DVDs in town I rely on the internet. Funny how the junk mail keeps plopping onto the mat, that doesn't seem to get lost...

Plenty easy cake...

I went round to a friend's house last week where a few of us girls were getting together for a natter and some lunch. This is the cake she'd made and it was so good I asked her for the recipe.

It's quick as well as tasty, always a good thing in my book. So, here's the low down...

140g of each of the following: ground almonds, butter, golden caster sugar, self raising flour. 2 eggs, a teaspoon of vanilla extract, 250g raspberries, flaked almonds to top.

All in the same bowl and mix. Put half the mixture into a lined 20cm cake tin (it's a thick mix so you'll have to force it to cover the tin), scatter on the raspberries (or maybe blueberries, blackcurrants-whatever's in season), cover with the rest of the mixture and scatter the flaked almonds on the top.

Into a 160^o(fan) , 180^o(normal) or Gas mark 4 pre-heated oven for roughly 50 minutes.

And there you have it.

Chocolate blobs...

A while ago I bought this tiny patty tin, maybe it's from a child's set, I don't know but petit four paper cases fit it perfectly. Time then to make something I'd been considering for ages.

Chocolate covered meringue swirl cakes. But miniature ones. Made the cakes, made the meringue, melted the chocolate. Filled the piping bag, piped swirls onto the cakes and went to dip them in the melted chocolate...

This is what happens when it's the holidays and you have time on your hands. Instead of baking a trusted recipe and getting a nice, presentable cake, you spend ages farting around and making a mess and lots of washing up.

Anyway, I got the meringue swirl things out of my system. Can't see me bothering with them again to be honest.

In other news:

I am seriously considering opening an Etsy shop.

The plagiarist has been outed by another blogger whose work was stolen.

It is cold and raining still. But not snowing, which is a plus I suppose.

Easter bunny...

When you have a few (who am I kidding) vintage jelly moulds you'd better also have a child that isn't averse to eating jelly. Unless you only use them for decoration; but I like to try them out as well. Other than a tiny bit at the front that stuck, this one was most successful, possibly a little more patience would have helped.

Old moulds like this often won't stand level, and I have a cunning solution to that. I jammed this one into a large gravy boat, with a kitchen roll buffer to prevent scratching.

I don't know who designed these moulds but they are a bit on the odd side. The strange rippling on the back adds a prehistoric exoskeleton touch, while the feet are a little too rat-like for comfort. But I suppose you're not meant to scrutinise these things too deeply.

I'm not mad keen on aluminium, the mess it makes of tea towels and the gritty texture. Do you remember the big scare over aluminium pans and the fear that they were causing some forms of dementia? I suspect you'd have to eat a few pans before it became much of a threat.

Some baking is in order today, I think.

Birdhouses...

What better thing to do, when it's blowing a blizzard outside and the temperature has dropped 22^o in the course of a week, than to make something?

Something using stuff you have in the house and that will make the indoors look Springlike even though outdoors doesn't!

That's right a birdhouse. Not of the functional kind, just decorative, though the basics are the same. These are made from cardboard and covered in fabric, but wallpaper would be just as good (and free if you get 'samples' from the DIY shop...)

I took loads of photos to do a tutorial but they have disappeared from the SD card. This has happened before and I think it's become corrupted and may need replacing, I've had it years. Anyway, it's all very straightforward.

You will need: a ruler, scissors/scalpel (and mat), glue and preferably a glue gun as well, cardboard.

Sketch out a template with dimensions, you can see mine on the picture. Make a back and front the same but with a hole in the front one, I cut round a 2p piece. Decide how the roof will fit, and remember if you want to hang these on a wall then the roof needs to be flush at the back.

So you'll have a front, back, base, two walls and a roof. I scored the roof and bent it before covering to make it easier and to check the fit.

Now, read the glue instructions to see if you have to leave it to go tacky before applying fabric. I used Copydex and on thin materials it's best to leave it a short time so it doesn't seep through.

The next part is where a hot glue gun makes life easy. I did one 'seam' at a time and kept checking for the best fit. To be honest they don't have to be perfect, they benefit from some naive charm, or at least that's what I keep telling myself. You can adda little perch under the hole at this point, I just didn't have any dowel. Poke a smallish hole in the cardboard, through the fabric, so the perch has to be squeezed in and fits snugly. Add a ribbon loop on the back if they are to be hung up.

These took less than a couple of hours, even including freezing in the raging wind to get photos. Then I brought them inside...

...and put them on a cakestand. They are now next to the Easter tree with the little clay eggs I made from leftovers.

Twigs...

I left myself a note the other day which said 'twigs'. This was a reminder to get some bits off the hedge to make an Easter decoration. Hopefully the leaves will come out a bit more before the weekend and maybe some roots will form eventually and I can use the cuttings to plug the gaps left in the hedge by the last two bad winters.

As you can see I've had the biscuit cutters and air drying clay out again, it's a sort of minimalist tree. There are two sizes of bunny, one of which is quite tiny, but the photo doesn't really show that very well. I have more plans for the tiny cutter.

No snow here yet, but plenty of rain. In fact it was torrential this morning, there's actually a hint of sunshine right now. But it's chilly still.

I went out this morning and managed to bag a really good bargain. I think. It's one of those grey areas where you see something (in an antique shop), have a price in your head, turn over the ticket... and it's actually a lot less than you thought it would be. It's still in the back of the car so I'll show it tomorrow and we can all decide if it was indeed a bargain.

Another thing...I desperately want to paint the chiffoniere (snort) that's in the pictures. I'm thinking Gustavain. I'm also thinking hard work, maybe something for the summer holidays...

Murder on the dance floor...

 

I went out on Friday night. Works do. I had such an unenjoyable time that I'm resolved to become a recluse. It wasn't any one thing in particular, more a conglomeration.

The DJ had put paper and pencils on the tables so everyone could request music, a great idea you'd think, as then the people who requested a track would then at least be dancing. Wrong. Even the DJ became frustrated and at one point came on the mike to announce that he'd been 'pestered' all night to play something in particular and still no-one bothered.

The only thing that seemed to separate people's backsides from their chairs was Motown. I am one of those people who feels obliged to dance to tracks I hate if someone asks me, it's a solidarity thing. Doesn't seem to bother most people though.

Anyway, the clincher of the evening was when the colleague, the one I wanted to punch a bit ago, came over to my friend and I at our table and said to me 'How much have you had to drink? We've been watching you, you must have hollow legs.'

Two things: i) I was on my second drink and had three over the course of a four hour event. ii) She looked like something the cat had dragged in, wild-eyed, leery and tragically flashing too much flesh for a woman of her age. See, I can do bitchy.

Actually, three things: iii) Who the hell are the 'we' that were watching me?

So I'm not going out with them again. Despite the fact I'm supposed to be doing just that on Wednesday. Slightly different set of people, moderately similar reason for going out. Someone leaving. Big Do and then Little Do for invited only. I'm uninviting myself. I feel better for getting that off my chest.

Scones today as the parents announced at 9am they were coming over. But, I said to my Dad, it's only 9am. Rubbish, says he, it's 11am. Not sure what they did to the clocks at their gaff. We split the difference and went for a ten o'clocker. Just time to whip up a batch of Nigella's finest which, most strangely, were a game of two halves. The first lot I put in came out fine but a little flat. The second lot, same dough batch, rose beautifully.

My Mother told me a funny they'd overheard yesterday at a flea market. Stallholder said to Lady Browser 'Is that the sun or the moon that I can see in the sky (early morning, bit overcast still).' 'I don't know' she replied 'I'm not from round here.'

Blue and white...

More custom crochet, this time for Mother's Day presents. I enjoy making these so much.

The little shell edging reminded me of the lovely clouds we've been having lately, like the opening titles of the Simpsons. And all the better because they haven't deposited any rain on us!

In other news:

The back garden blackbird is back in his tree. I was worried something had happened to him as I hadn't seen him for ages.

The two big fish are alive and well in the pond, I saw them together yesterday. More relief.

I have decided upon a new hobby, something I have wanted to do for a long time but didn't have the support required shall we say. Now there's no need to worry about whether it's an appropriate hobby or not, I can just do it. I shall be sharing more later...

Knicker pink...

I know that isn't really a colour, although for me it's the best description of these particular shades. If you don't believe me take a look here or here.

Maybe Vintage Lingerie Pink would be better, but just not as punchy.

The pillowcase pair is new (shock, horror- not thrifted) but I customised it with a shell edging, this time without the blanket stitch base, which makes it more delicate I think. The hanger is in a darker but complementary shade.

They were for a gift, or part of one, with a sort of 40s retro colour scheme. There were also pyjamas and a lovely vintage jug. Bedroom theme.

I've bought more pillowcases and they will feature heavily this Mothering Sunday. Same but different. If anyone is interested in how the edging is done then let me know and I'll cobble together a tutorial.

Harry found them fascinating. Harry is my friend. Frank is not. His urinary tract has struck again, same place. My bloody bed. Just as I was leaving for work yesterday morning, it gave new meaning to the phrase pissed off.

I wasn't spending £18 at the launderette again, so decided to spend it right here at home. I jammed the king size into the washer and mauled the door shut. Pressed start and hoped it wouldn't be a very expensive quick wash. Fortunately when wet it fit into the washer a lot better and as it was so large it plastered the whole drum and spun most satisfactorily and evenly, the washer was where I left it and hadn't hurtled across the cellar floor as it so often does.

Five hundred hours of tumble drying later and it was ready to put back on the bed. I will be placing a collection plate in the front porch to raise funds for the electric bill.

In other news:

The pond pump has stopped working again. I heaved it out and winkled out all the foul gunk to no avail. Accordingly Joe le bassin will be coming round later to give it a service. I know when I'm beaten.

Cake and fish...

I hadn't made a cake for us at home for a while so I thought yesterday was as good a time as any to remedy that. This is a pistachio and banana cake. The frosting has a hint of cinnamon in it.

The point and shoot camera now has a hint of frosting in it after I fumbled and dropped it right onto the cake.

In fact yesterday was a sugary day altogether. I did the grocery shop in the morning and a bag of caster sugar got ripped and poured all over the car seat, the path to the front door, the porch floor...

The big old goldfish was a bit off colour in the morning as well, just gaping and lying on the bottom of the tank. I took him out and put him in a casserole of fresh water, with the lid on, thinking I'd clean him out later and add a dash of fish jollop to sort him out.

I then went out to buy the jollop (we'd run out). All the while I panicked that the cats would have got the lid off and eaten him. They hadn't.

I looked on Google for the average lifespan of a gold fish and it said 'over 10 years' or '20+ if given a varied diet and exceptional water conditions'. This from Wikipedia- one lived 43 years after being won on a fairground in 1956.

Well our Orange was won on the fair over 18 years ago now. He has a rather limited diet of fishfood and I wouldn't say his water quality was exceptional, but I do care a lot about him and Lemon who is a mere 10 or so.

Much ado about nothing...

There was loads of yarn left over from the Topsy Turvy throw and I decided to cover a couple of coathangers, partly as I stumbled on a real bargain that meant I didn't have to do the padding myself.

Just to mix it up a bit I did one lot of vertical stripes and one horizontal. I know how to live.

One of the good things about crochet is you can do a foundation chain stitch row and hold it up against the thing you want it to fit and you know straight away where you stand. Then just plug away at the double crochet until it fits (slightly stretched for snugness).

These are an ideal armchair/vegging project and I thought would be great for gifts (Mothering Sunday is approaching fast). There's so many things you could embellish them with, maybe a small lavender bag dangling off the hook? I already have more on the go.

Notice the catkins on the twiggy branches... second picture... sparse but there. But it's cold still, just one degree yesterday morning.

However, it was boiling in work, which was nice as I had a thermal top on. There is never a happy medium and sometimes it's like a form of primitive but effective torture.

Anyway, part way into the first lesson one of the parents rang. His daughter (one of 'mine') was refusing to come into school because... hold onto your knickers... because her hair straighteners had broken.

He was distraught and embarrassed. However he felt a bit better when I explained this was not an uncommon occurrence. Really. It's already recognised that teenagers (and the rest...) can suffer from mobile phone separation anxiety, and I think there must be a term for the dependence on straighteners. Students, not just girls, are often late on account of their protracted toilettes. Gone are the days of wash and go.

Back to yesterday. The parent was most distressed that basically he is hard up at the moment and didn't know how he was going to sort the situation. I said I'd ask if anyone had a spare and get back to him.

I ended up on the Argos website in the sale section pressing Reserve and Collect. A late birthday present to her from me. Hopefully this small gift will make both our school lives easier!

I went to pick them up in my lunch break. All the free parking spots were taken so I had to go to a pay and display. There were three other people waiting to get a ticket and when, a mere few minutes later,  I turned back to the car... there were two traffic wardens looking in all the windows for a ticket. I hallooed and waved my ticket and said 'You're keen'.

Lady (hah!) warden didn't like my attempt at jocularity and warned me not to be rude or she'd 'Log your car'. Rude? Were these people hiding or do they pop out of thin air? They'd just had a go at the woman who was in front of me in the ticket queue. She wasn't saying much but we exchanged a wry glance.

As we walked away after making sure our tickets were visible and we were parked in the marked bay, she looked towards them and shouted 'Arse!'. Yeah, that's telling them.

Cake alarm...

More baking for school birthdays yesterday. I'll just add the filling this morning then it's all ready for breaktime.

Over the last half term holiday I got another of my To Do items Done. Sorting out the baking cupboard. I wanted to make sure everything was labelled and in convenient containers. Instead of three half-used bags of flour, leaking caster sugar and even drier dried fruit, I now have these great sweetie jars and can see straight away how much of something I have. As they are tall they fill the cupboard space a lot better as well.

I got the jars from the local sweet shop. I went in one Saturday morning and metaphorically fluttered my eyelashes at the man in there. He said he'd save me 'a' jar and to go back the following week. I thought he was being nice but would forget.

I went back the following week and not only did he recognise me, but had saved me four jars. Three big and one half-size. Perfect.

I didn't want the labels on them and the first one came off really easily. Lulled into a false state of security I soaked the others. What buggers the rest were, it took forever to get them off without scratching the plastic (too much).

A quick dabble with the Dymo label-maker and bingo. Talking of the Dymo, I bought it at the Rymans in town. I hunted around for it for some time before asking one of the sullen staff where they were hiding them. He wafted a hand towards the corner 'Over there' was the answer. 'What? In the section marked Calculators?' 'Yeah.' Silly me.