I can't repeat most of what the kids at school say. It may shock you, even those of you who have teenagers. Possibly not those who also work in school, depending on the type of student you work with. I'll just tell you that I work in the behavioural department, of the challenging type. This, among other things, means no two days are alike.
Today's tale is not of particularly poor behaviour in the traditional sense of the term, more of a post-modern version.
Science, a table of four: three boys, one girl. Good mates, good fun, unable to concentrate/follow instructions/complete work/keep quiet... need I go on?
Anyway, one of the lads is missing; the one who actually sometimes does some work. I enquire of R where J is? 'Off sick, Miss' he replied and M and O snigger. I express my hope that he will be well soon. Much merriment. I had to ask...
Breaktime, R steals M's phone (the girl in the tale) and texts J to the effect that she's been secretly in love with him for some time and just can't keep it inside any longer.
J replies thank goodness you feel the same; and a whole load more.
R and O then use a social networking site and some screenshots to come clean on the whole ruse. M is not bothered, thinks it's a jolly jape. J has four days off suffering from complete and chronic humiliation. He returns and is unable to look anyone in the eye and does not comply with the lesson seating plan. I let him stay where he was.
What I'd really, really like to tell you is what O said to me when I asked him why he was wearing his sports' shorts and not his school uniform trousers. But there are limits.